"Oh Patrick, my strong and brave and curious sea star of a man, I love you so much." said the Empress.
Every day it seems, the sea star of a man would drop by the Empress's palace and she would wait patiently outside her balcony singing like a baby bird chirping for her mother to bring her the fresh worms for the day. And like a mother bird answering the calls of her baby, Patrick would swing by like a condor landing upon his nest, and feed his caller.
Quoting from a verse in Auden, Patrick whispers in her ear,
"'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,"
and with that, the lovers went to bed.
As time went on though, the Empress began to neglect her duties. First, the sun stopped shining and then the water stopped moving. Eventually, the grass grew so long that people could not find the path to the road anymore and the citizens of the country began to revolt.
"The Empress is a joke! She has fallen in love with an alien and we cannot have that!" rioted the people.
The started to burn down the palace of the kingdom forcing the Empress and her family to flee.
"This is all your fault, Empress! How could you neglect your duties and the traditions that your family has held for so many generations! It is that sea star's fault! We must kill him!" barked the relatives.
The Empress pleaded for his life, but it seems there was no other way, the people and the relatives have made up their mind.
Racing towards her beloved, she was too late. The Imperial guards snatched Patrick up like a runaway toddler fleeing from his mother for breaking a vase and hung him on a sycamore tree.
Grieving, the Empress prayed for her beloved but to no avail. He was dead.
Slowly, the Empress stopped eating, and she got skinnier and thinner. Her face started to look like a cubone and she cried. Upon seeing this, her most loyal servant, Stinky Guang Ling came up to her and asked if he could be of any assistance. Remembering, that Stinky used to be a member of the Imperial Magicians Court, she told Stinky to make contact with Patrick in the afterlife. Whether it is in Heaven or Hell, if Stinky could bring back her beloved, perhaps she could survive her grief.
And with that Stinky went on his journey to find Patrick.
He looked everywhere, from the deepest circle of hell to the highest parts in paradise and could not find him. He returned to the Empress with the news that Patrick could not be found anywhere, and with that, the Empress cried even harder and threatened to end her own life. Fearing of this, the Magician tried again. He went down to Hell with a flyer of the man's face on it and hassled and rustled every demon he could find and one of the demons mentioned that he heard news of a beautiful sea star in heaven. With that news, the Magician went straight into heaven again and started to harass all the angels until one of them spilled the beans.
*Patrick punches and angel and is curb-stomping him while another angel with a torn wing and bloody nose shows up*
"Where is he, Punk!" yelled the Magician as he struck another blow.
"STOP!!! WE KNOW WHERE HE IS! HE IS HIDING UNDERNEATH A ROCK IN HEAVEN. HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SEA STAR! STOP HARASSING US!." cried the other angel.
The magician took his leave and went immediately to the rock. Upon finding it, Patrick was underneath it sleeping like a newborn baby who cried itself to sleep.
Upon entering the abode, Patrick opened his eyes and the strength of ten Hawaiin Breeze fans blew over his the magician's skin.
"Patrick, I have come to take you home! The Empress longs for you and has threatened to end her life unless you come home!" harked the Magician.
"Oh Stinky, I cannot leave this place. For Heaven has declared me their most beautiful and precious sea star and I must stay here and be King of the Stars. Tell my beloved that I have not forgotten her and that I still have the ring that she left me when we first met. Bring this to her and tell her that our love is eternal and I shall never die." said the divine entity.
And with that Patrick's rock closed and the Magician woke up on earth again.
He told the Empress of the news and gave her the ring. The Empress was so impressed and happy that her beloved is still alive and she showered gifts on Stinky.
The Goddess Patrick underneath his rock. source
Author's Notes:
The story is taken from the Chinese fairy tale about Yang Gui Fe, who was the most beautiful lady around. An Emperor fell in love with her and as a result, the kingdom fell to ruin. Eventually, the people wanted her killed and the emperor gave in. Afterward, however, the Emperor was so grieved that one of his assistants had to go up into the afterlife to find Yang Gui Fe again. It turns out she became a goddess.
I wanted to do the same with my story, but I replaced the emperor with an Empress and the beautiful Yang Gui Fe with Patrick Star "Gui Fe." I also made the Empress the owner of Africa.
Bibliography:
Story source: The Chinese Fairy Book, ed. by R. Wilhelm and translated by Frederick H. Martens (1921).
"As I walked out One Evening" W.H. Auden
Okay, the fact that you made it Patrick-themed made it fun to read. However, it was a little odd because that is nothing like how Patrick acts in the show, so it's a little hard to imagine. Looking at your blog though, it appears that Patrick Star is your overall theme. You did have one or two minor typos, but nothing that I couldn't move past. Also, I love the line "The Imperial guards snatched Patrick up like a runaway toddler fleeing from his mother." As a mother of a toddler, I could definitely imagine this. The story, itself, was great. It flowed well, and kept me interested. The only thing I would suggest is to add a picture or two throughout your story. This one was a little long, so I think some pictures would balance it out a little bit.
ReplyDeleteHey Albert! This story was actually pretty funny. I love the route you took with Patrick Star. It reminded me of when I used to watch Spongebob all the time. You did very well in changing the story around to make it funny instead of tragic. I think many of these old stories need a little more light. It would be fun to give the magician more of a backstory and maybe some more dialogue. I wonder why he was so loyal to the Empress? This is a great rendition. I can't wait to see more!
ReplyDeleteHey Albert! The way you tell your stories using Patrick makes it 10x times better than the original. I think that it takes a very creative mind to change all these different stories in the class to fit in the confines of Patrick! Also, the picture of Patrick makes the perfect edition to the stories. Great job with the overall story, I agree with Samantha that adding a few more pictures might help to keep readers engaged!
ReplyDelete