"Patrick, I know you're not an ape or anything, but dude, you're pretty cool for a starfish. Wait, watch this!" said Sun Wu Kung as he turned one of his hairs into a Razor scooter and did some kickflips.
"WICKED BROOOO!!!!" I yelled back!
"That's nothing man. Now man watch Thi-"
Suddenly, the skies blackened and some kid walks out from the heavens.
"What the FLIP?" Gasped Sun Wu Kung as he walks toward the shadows.
"BE CAREFUL DUDE!!!" I cried.
But it was too late. Everything changed in an instant when the grandson of the Lord of Heavens came.
"Who are you?" questioned the mighty ape.
"I am Yang Oerlang, the grandson of the Lord of Heavens!" replied the valiant god.
"Lame. Get out of here man, or do I have to school you too?" beckoned the ape.
"Bring it!" yelled the young Lord.
They both summoned their wheeled boards and commenced a showdown. Up from the skies, the Lord of Heavens sent down literally the biggest skating rink I've ever seen in my life. It was like the size of three NFL football stadiums combined!
"Be careful dude!" I yelled
"No worries man. I got this!" replied the cocky Ape.
Sun Wu Kung transformed his scooter back into a skateboard and went into the rink. He started off with doing some casual kickflips when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he got some air and did a kickflip superman and wowed the crowd.
 |
| kickflip superman from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 |
Wowing the crowd he got back to his post and held his board in the air.
"Your turn." whispered the ape to the prince.
The earth rumbled and the skies grumbled when the prince got on his board. Riding down the rink like a lightning cheetah the young prince did a few flips and then all of a sudden he pulls out of these out of nowhere.
 |
| Slamma Jamma off of Pro Skater 3 |
The Slamma Jamma trick was brutal and ten mountains crumbled.
Fearing, the ensuing onslaught, all the other apes hid and withdrew from the crowd. All of a sudden, the two warriors clashed like clashing warriors. The sky thundered like thundery skies and it rained wet drops of water.
As the two warriors fought, the skating rink started to fall apart. I grab my ripstick and start riding towards the warriors to stop the madness.
"I'm about to end this man's career," said Sun Wu Kung as he saw me.
Then I knew what was going to happen. Sun Wu Kung was about to show me the coolest trick ever that would certainly get end the young prince's career. I got down on my knees and started to pray.
 |
| Patrick Praying. Uploaded from my personal photos |
He grabbed his skateboard and I knew what was about to go down.
Sun Wu Kung pushed the Lord of Heaven's grandson aside and performed the trick that would be the end of the world.
Hiding my eyes from the terror, I see the Monkey King riding up the walls of the rink and then all it was all over.
 |
| Christ Air on Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 |
Bibliography:
The Chinese Fairy Book, ed. by R. Wilhelm and translated by Frederick H. Martens (1921).
Authors Notes:
The original story is about the Monkey King, Sun Wu Kung, who clashed against the Yang Oerlang, the grandson of the Lord of Heavens. The Monkey King prior to this had committed many crimes against heaven such as eating the sacred peaches and taking all of the pills of life and the forces that heaven sent down to stop him were not enough. In a final effort, they sent down the Lord of Heaven's grandson, and upon heading to the cave of the monkey king, fought. The two were in a battle of shape-shifting with each time one out doing the other. In the end, the Monkey King had to run away and hide in heaven, disguised as the young lord.
For the purposes of my story, however, I replaced the shape-shifting battles with skateboarding tricks. I also changed the plot a little bit by having the Monkey King winning the battle. I also replaced the third person narrative with first-person storytelling.
